Take a look at this excerpt from a Singer sewing machine manual from 1949.  I thought it would be fun to replace some key words Mad Libs Z-style.

Prepare yourself mentally for ___________.  Think about what you are going to do.  Never approach ______________ with a sigh or lackadaisically.  Good results are difficult when indifference dominates.  Never try to _____________ with a _____________ full of _______________ or ______________.  When there are urgent _________________ , do these first so that your mind is free to enjoy your ______________.  When you _____________ , make yourself as ________________ as possible.  Put on a clean _____________.  Keep a little bag of ___________ near your _______________ to dust your _______________ at intervals.  Have your _____________ in order, _____________ and ___________ put on.  If you are constantly fearful that a visitor might drop in or your ___________ will come home, and you will not look neatly put together, you will not enjoy your ____________.

 That's great. The possibilities are endless and possibly revealing.

Spindle pins come to mind…...

Spindle pins come to mind…...

Let me get my pretty dress on first...

Man, those guys in 1949 must've had it easy.  The jaded representatives of womanhood we have nowadays would go to war over an advertisement like that.  

12 hours ago, ksechler said:

Man, those guys in 1949 must've had it easy.  The jaded representatives of womanhood we have nowadays would go to war over an advertisement like that.  

check out this one

Oh boy, I wonder if I should show this to mine...  I really like the line "Don't greet him with complaints and problems"....  where has this manual been all my life!?!

"I wonder if I should show this to mine"

Uhhhh.... I'm thinking "no".

My wife got a kick out of it, but I'm going to get some mileage out of a couple of those lines.

"Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours" and "You have no right to question him"

2 hours ago, grannyknot said:

My wife got a kick out of it, but I'm going to get some mileage out of a couple of those lines.

"Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours" and "You have no right to question him"

 Precisely the reason I didn't share. Maybe I'll show it to my daughter first.

 

On 24-12-2016 at 3:13 PM, Captain Obvious said:

"I wonder if I should show this to mine"

Uhhhh.... I'm thinking "no".

Im with you Captain, don't think I would survive it either.

On December 24, 2016 at 9:13 AM, Captain Obvious said:

"I wonder if I should show this to mine"

Uhhhh.... I'm thinking "no".

Yup, by chance if I happen to drive by a strip club with my wife in the car I get a 20 min lecture. This one is a no go for me.