GunnerRob

Little Sally was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Sally, who created the universe?" When Sally didn't stir, little Jason, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pen and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Sally and the teacher said, "Very good" and Sally fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Sally, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Sally didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Jason came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Sally and the teacher said, "Very good," and Sally promptly fell back asleep. Once again the teacher called upon Sally and asked a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Jason jabbed her with the pen. This time Sally jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!

An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. "White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?" "$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies. "That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?" "Charmin is $2.00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll." The Indian didn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours, he is back at the trading post. "I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne." "Why?" asked the confused clerk "Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no $^!# off an Indian."

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened? "Well, doc, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of horses. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the horses had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball..........stuck right in the middle of the horse's butt. That's when I made my mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat.

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!" "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?" "No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

NOW I'm paranoid!

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

My '68 Mustang had them, and I believe my dad's '68 Buick Riviera had them also.

Hi Shannon, The sticker from my 1975 280Z states that the Mfg's suggested retail base price was $6,284.00. This doesn't include $425.00 for A/C, $95.00 for California emission system, $75.00 for suggested dealer prep, or $77.00 for destination & hamdling charges. The total price for this Z when new was $6,956.00! WOW, big bucks!! Oh, by the way, this car was purchased at Anaheim Datsun in Southern California. If you need it, I can scan the sticker and email it to you. Good luck, Rob

Hi Derk, I've had a dash cap on my 280Z for about 20 years now and it has held up very well. There's no warping or fading at all. Unfortunately, my dad installed it when it was his car, and I "think" he bought it from Motorsport Auto. He bought the "partial" cover instead of the "full" style. If you decide to buy and install one, be sure to place the leading (front) edge under the windshield trim piece. This wasn't done to mine when my dad had it installed. It hasn't lifted or shifted, it just looks kind of hokey. Also, watch out for ebay prices. I've seen bids go beyond the price of the same item available directly from the sellers web site.

I received this joke from a friend today, and thought, because we are members from all over the world, this joke fits. ____________ There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with chicken legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how say it, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. On the third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!!!!!

Hi Nigel You did a nice job with your web site. Very clean and straight forward. Easy to navigate too! That's a cool image of the Z in profile! I'm surprised you don't use it as your avatar. Also, that's a very nice 240Z.

I know other people have posted pics of the G-Nose Z but I thought some of you would like to see another.

My '75 280Z came from the factory with door locks that were designed NOT to lock by pushing down on the interior lock knobs with the doors open. A person had to use a key and the door had to be closed for the key to lock the door. This may have been designed to keep people from locking their keys inside the car. I'm wondering, if you can't find a problem with the mechanism, if the previous owners have installed a '75 mechanism.

Season's Greetings! This may sound dumb. My not having lived in a part of the country where it snows, I was wondering, do you guys who live in this area decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? I'm thinking that you don't because of the damage the snow would cause the decorations.

When I select the first file, the "install.zip", I'm taken to an Angelfire page that tells me they don't allow direct linking to files hosted on Angelfire. I thought I could just download the install.zip file but I get sent this Angelfire page. Oh well. The other files give me the option to download them to my PC, but I think without the "install.zip" they're useless. If I'm missing something please let me know.

My 8 year old son likes it as much as I do! Although I think I still prefer Unreal Tournament (better weapons!).

Hi Bonnie, I recently had a rebuilt '81 5 speed installed in my 280z. My original 4 speed, after seeing 255,000 miles, literally ground to a halt. I selected this 5 speed for the taller 5th gear for much better freeway speed gas mileage without sacrificing much in acceleration from a stop. But then, I'm more of a high speed in the twisties person than a dragster. I checked out a really good web site that has a transmission calculator for all combinations of transmissions, differentials, tire sizes, etc. It appears that the '77-'79 factory 5 speed is as close as you can come to your original 4 speed in 1st thru 4th gears, with a 5th gear that will drop your rpm's at 75 mph in 4th from 3400 to 2960. The difference in 1st gear at 6000 is 37 mph now to 40 mph with the above mentioned 5 speed. These numbers are with 195/70-14 tires. The 5 speed with a 4.11 differential, as mentioned by 2ManyZs, will get you 32 mph in 1st gear at 6000 rpm and 3600 rpm at 75 mph in 5th gear. Here's the web site link if you'd like to look at some other number comparisons: http://www.geocities.com/z_design_studio/ BTW, here in So. Cal., it cost me $700 for the transmission and installation. Have fun! Rob

It's not long. There's just alot! Must be the Scottish in me.:classic:

I think, since I said that I wouldn't shave my head, that my hair must be the 30% that's gay!?:nervous:

Bill, you're right. And my apologies(sp?) to everyone. The link I posted doesn't take you to the proper page. But, from the that page select usc/morton/cargroom, then accessories. On this page you'll find a group of products. Select USC's sound control pads and you're there. I hope this helps. BTW, this web site is finicky so be patient.

I'll be looking to do something similar to my 280Z soon. What I've come up with so far is to line the interior surfaces (floor, rear deck, door skins, rear sheetmetal interior) with a "asphalt paper" product called Q-Pad (my thanks to Kmack for this info, I think). This is the same stuff that was used in strategic locations by the factory. It's quite thin compared to foam padding and I'm sure more durable. The thing that attracts me most to this method is ease of installation and the fact that these pads won't hold moisture and cause rust. The downside may be that once installed they'll be difficult to remove and you'll be adding some weight. I believe the 12" square pads weigh about 1 pound each. Here's their web page: http://www.uschem.com/products/index.html

Wow Enrique! What a blessing KATSUHIKO has bestowed upon you. I've been peaking in on your search for something that I thought was an extreamly long shot. And not only did Alan and Kats help you with your endeavor, Kats has come through with flying colors, and he's presented it as a gift! Talk about brothers-in-common! As for myself, I could only hope to return the favor to people like you and Alan for all the invaluable help and information you all have provided to people like myself and others that you probably don't even know about. Congradulations! Merry Christmas to all!

After seeing all the beautiful pictures some of you have posted showing pristine clean engines and all the accompanying components in the engine compartment, I was wondering, how do you get them to look like they came from the factory without actually buying them new? I haven't taken down an engine or had to clean car parts since I was a kid back in the seventies! And back then we didtn't have to look over our shoulder to make sure the EPA wasn't watching us cleaning parts in a can of gasoline, then pouring it down the drain. What tools do you use to clean your parts? What do you do with the chemicals you use for cleaning? Can the parts be cleaned to near new condition or do you get them close, then have them replated? A guy I know has a cabinet sand blaster. Is that something I should look into getting/using? Any help is appreciated.:classic: BTW, I live in California. Home of the environment police.

Sean, My statement was not intended to be a euphemism, nor was it intended to patronize. It was meant as a sincere statement welcoming gen z as a new member to this club. And I'd like to see more women become as enthusiastic towards the Z marque and to participate in this forum. In my opinion euphemisms are for small minded people. I personally refuse to stoop to that level. If this reply to your post is misguided, please accept my apologies.