Here's one to start the ball rolling.

What do you call a FISH with no eyes?? ..... a FSH.

Rick.

How do you know it's Mothers Day in Tasmania-all the cars are at one house!

Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Age and knowledge don't always come together. Sometimes you just get the age...

Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a gun.

Carpenter's rule: cut to fit. Beat into place.

Carpenter's rule 2: If it doesn't fit, get a bigger hammer.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

My push!

Will

If you make ice cream with $^!#, you get shitty tasting ice cream.

If everyone in the world is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking!

I'm from, the government and I'm here to help.

Yes baby, I'll love you in the morning.

the women's restroom in souplantation has garbanzo beans in it. i found out when i walked in on accident and saw a chick pea.

What's a carpenter's dream? She's gotta be flat as a board, and easy to nail.

Confuscious: 1) Man who goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.

2) Man who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot - VERRRRY unsanitary.

Confuscious: 1) Man who goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.

2) Man who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot - VERRRRY unsanitary.

3. Confuscious say, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

confuscious say: man who jack off in cash register come into money

Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza

Confuscious say:

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Man who eat prune, sit on toilet many moon.

Woman who use breast enlarger try to make mountain out of molehill.

The Aristocrats!

/sorry if it's obscure

//slashie!