you really never do know..until its to late

[ZmeFly]

hey guys i felt i would share this with you as most of us here are like family and freinds.

well this weekend i had some fun planned, i was going to baltimore to visit the parents and go to the track and see what my car can do.

well unfortunately that was all cut short as i arrived at my parents house.

it had been a good while well a long while since i had seen them and since they had there number changed i really hadnt any way to get in contact with them.

that coupled with some money probs kept me at home for a good little while about 8 months.

well anyway this weekend i found out in a really bad way i would think at least it was for me that my father had passed away.

i dont know how close or not most of you are to your parents but i was pretty close. i really cant put into words what i felt when i was told by my mother what had happened. i guess the easiest was to say that someone had driven a stake threw my heart.

i was sick, hurt, finding it hard to breathe, and the whole while i couldnt figure out why he was taken away. he was still a young man at only 56 years of age.

my mother told me though that the day before he was as happy as could be and he didnt really suffer threw death. it was found that he had a massive heart attack and that was what had taken his life.

one of the things i thought of was that in all this time i didnt see him. no one was for some reason able to contact me, and i didnt even get to reallyl say goodbye.

his passing occured on April 5, 2003. so i was thinking as i know i never thought at all that one day i would go to visit my parents and find one of them gone from my life.

so to all that havent talked to your parents in a while or havent seen them, give them a call, see how they are doing and tell them just so they know that you love them.

its someting i didnt get a chance to do. i really mis my father, the pain is just unreal as to what it is you really feel when they are gone.

i dont even know what made me write this. i guess i just needed to share.

all of you take care and god bless.

[Bambikiller240]

James:

I'm so sorry to hear of your Father's passing. What a horrible shock to be hit with out of the clear blue. You have my sincere and deepest sympathies.

I lost my father 7 years ago, and though the hurt passes to a degree I still miss him very much.

As you said, we all should stay in contact, often, with the ones we love. Though we sometimes don't comprend until too late........we cannot count on "tomorrow" to always be there for us. "Tomorrow" is a gift to be appreciated, never counted upon.

PS To anyone who isn't as close to their family as they once were, take a moment to reflect on how you would feel in James place. Then make an effort to put the past behind you and get back in touch with your family. There may come a time when you want to do so, but it is too late.

[DatsunZGuy]

My heart and prayers go out to you.

[Harry Frigg]

You are in my prayers as well ZmeFly.

Lost my dad a year ago April 13... that's the only way I could ever relate.

Find comfort in knowing he is in a better place, and someday, when the time is right, we will meet with them again.

Harry

[jpac]

my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

[skinnyz]

My prayers go out to you as well. I have beeb through 3 different cancers with my father, and recently, a stroke which has left him in a wheelchair unable to take care of himself. The ride to the hospital makes you realize how much they mean to you, when you think they are gone. My father has told me he doesnt think it is worth going on, and I know he hasn't much time left. I am lucky in the sense that I was given the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him. And yes, if anyone out there doesnt have a good relationship with their parents, work on it, you will regret it forever if you dont. Im very sorry for your loss.

[tanny]

Condolences guy. The past several years I have been enjoying the exquisite pain and aggravation of a quite terminal disease and have been within hours or days of dying several times. So I have maybe been looking at this from your father's point of view, since I have an 18 year old daughter and a 15 year old son. I know your father passed away suddenly, so he probably didn't have the luxury of being able to reflect on his relationships and how his dying would affect them, but he might have had some similar thoughts to mine. One thing I didn't really realize at first was that my impending death was not really about me, but about how the kids and wife dealt with it. I had felt that the kids were dealing quite well and stoically with the process until I found out from one of my son's buddies parents that she had discovered him crying one night while sleeping over, really worried about what was happening to me. Big shock. I had taken things for granted, assuming that the kids could deal with my eventual death as easily as I had. Wrong assumptions as usual from a self centered pea brain. It finally dawned(duh) on me at that point that I needed to talk more intimately and thoroughly with the kids about my thoughts and theirs, and their future. I also realised that I need to hug them and tell them I love them every chance I get, which is several times a day while they are still living at home. Although it's a normal process, try not to waste your time with the "what ifs" or the "if onlys". Use that time to reflect on the fun things you did with your dad, his strange and funny quirks, the funny, absurd, or profound comments he made. As for feeling guilty for not having visited him within a certain amount of time, again a normal process, but a total waste of your time and thoughts, and I can pretty much guarantee that your father wasn't doubtful in the slightest as to your love for him. If my kids move out and I never see them again, I would never have any doubts at all as to their love for me. That parent kid thing is real durable. Good luck and have plenty of fun as soon as you're able. Victor.

ps While lying in the hospital bed croaking from this worthless disease(I was stuck and alone in a Harrisburg PA hospital. Fortunately those good people pulled me through that time), the only thing I wanted to think about was my family and relationships I've had. Not one thought about my career, my athletic or scholastic accomplishments, or any money or possessions I had accumulated over my lifetime. Zero. Zilch. The ONLY thing that mattered were the personal relationships. Take warning workahaulics. Not trying to preach, but that has been my experience at least.

[ZmeFly]

carl and tanny both said some really good things. tanny its true, i have been dwelling on what if and where as's and the like.

whats really bad is that no one because i know my mom was in no condition to try and contact me when he died. she was the one that found my dad slumped over the bed, lips blue and barely warm.

it is a pain that will without doubt take a long long time to lose in my heart, i still tear up everytime i think of my dad. as you stated though tanny lately thats what ive been thinking about. his little ways, his laughing and joking, and mostly the way that all who he knew loved him.

he touched a lot of lives, mine mostly because to this day i only wish and hope that i could be half the man my father was. he wasnt rich, powerful or great, he was my dad.

all who knew him loved him, all who knew him respected him, and all who knew him would do anything for my dad. why you ask? because that was the kind of person he was.

just a kind gentle man that was loved by all he touched. if i can only be as half as rich as he was, with friends and family then ill be a better man myself.

i cant imagine with you tanny what your children are going threw, knowing the inevitible and how you must feel by the same token knowing your leaving your family. it must be devastating. i totally agree with what you said, life is to be lived to its fullest and to be shared with family and friends.

as most have said already, tell the ones you care for and love that you do love them, let them know theyre in yoru hearts and never forget life really is to short.

tanny i hope the best for you and you get to see all that you wish for your kids. if not well im sure that they will know that you will be watching over from above.

take care all and thanks once again.

[bonniec75209]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Zme.