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Unintentional Insults


geezer

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I think this is something that should be brought out in the open, to give me the opportunity to apologize to anyone I may have offended, even if that was not my intent. I was surprised to get this PM. I'm not so surprised now that I have given it some thought:

Hey Ron,

If you want to insult folks, with comments about being a girl, take it

to another forum. We don't take kindly to this sort of childish

behavior.

The statement I made and was percieved as "childish behavior" was not directed at anyone, but used as a reference to myself, jokingly at that. I am certainly not under the impression that everyone is able or willing to change a tire. That's your choice.

I'm just like everyone else that frequents this site, looking for answers to questions I have, helping someone if I can and taking an interest in the cars and projects of others. I have never typed out anything on this site with the intention of being hurtfull or insensitive. If anything has been taken that way I sincerly appologize.

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In this day and age of overcharged political correctness, I'm not at all surprised that there was at least one person who could find that innocent statement offensive. :rolleyes: And good example or not, I see no reason for you to fall on your sword and make a public apology. Personally, I think someone needs to lighten up a bit. Life to short to sweat the small stuff.

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Ya seriously. I read that thread over several times looking for any sign of both insult and childish behavior. None were found. I'd like to joke and say "how dare you sorta make fun of yourself on the internet", but that WOULD be childish and may be offensive to some.

Zak

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Who sent you that PM? I don't recall giving anyone authority to act on behalf of the club with that kind of message. Please send me a PM. Thanks.

Also, can you post a link to the thread where this unintentional insult took place?

mg

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The problem boils down to interpretation by the reader. With BBS’, email, etc it is easy to misunderstand the writers intent. That is why we add smilies and the sort.

As a writer, we try to be careful to write something that conveys what we mean. As reader, we need to be careful to not react to something that is not there and give the benefit of the doubt to the writer if possible.

I also read the thread in question. Okay, someone could get offended if they choose to see it that way. (I didn't) But, why bother? Life is too short.

Regarding the PM itself: My opinion is that I would rather have the person with the complaint come directly to me (PM or otherwise) than complain to the boss, my coworkers, or my friends.

The irony here is that the PM did the complainer no favors. (My English teachers are rolling in their graves). It did not ask for a clarification, nor was it a polite request to change the language. It was knee-jerk response to an email which rubbed him/her the wrong way.

Let's learn from this:

1) Learn to be careful about what others may read into your writings’.

2) Learn to question your reaction before assuming the worst from a post.

Now let us get back to the Z-Car discussion.

Al

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Don't forget that this is an open public forum, and you have potentially 6 billion or so different people from different countries, and different languges, who could disagree with you! If you don't undertstand someone's intent, you need to ask for clarification.

Maybe we could start a poll to see if we have someone from every country on Earth registered here?

But since it's also an open forum, you need to take opinions and comments with a grain of salt.

thx

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since it's also an open forum, you need to take opinions and comments with a grain of salt.

Or a pound. I know my intent when I post but I can't really expect anyone else to know it anymore than I can imagine the possible interpretations by others. I think it's admirable what Ron has done in apologizing but I also think it's a bit over sensitive of the person who pm'd him to react that way on a public forum. 'WE'? That person doesn't speak for me any more that anyone here does. Nor do I speak for anyone else here. Who would want that responsibility?

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Wow, if they thought that was offensive, they better not post on zcar.com or hybriz.org!! Those guys will leave them in tears.... I still don't see what was so offensive, but it must have struck a nerve. If we had tobe aware of everyones insecurities on the internet while posting, the posts would only have words such as a, and, the, if, or, to, and it.

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In this day and age of overcharged political correctness, I'm not at all surprised that there was at least one person who could find that innocent statement offensive. :rolleyes: And good example or not, I see no reason for you to fall on your sword and make a public apology. Personally, I think someone needs to lighten up a bit. Life to short to sweat the small stuff.

Hi Enigma:

I initially wrote a far more direct, blunt and course response {that's just the kind of guy I am} .... but after thinking about it... I believe I'll just Second your more thoughtful and polite comments....

FWIW,

Carl B.

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Oh boy, or should I say girl, with Don Imus and the students from Duke in the news this week this forum could go political really quick.

I have to say that I have stopped several times over the years to help a "girl" change a flat tire. I can't remember ever helping a guy. I've slowed down and asked if help was needed. Lord knows I wouldn't just pass a guy broken down on the side of the road. But, they were already in the middle of changing the tire. Or if it wasn't a tire issue they had the hood up looking for any other problem that may have put them there.

There may have been a puzzled look on their face, but !!!!!

Ron, I admire your integrity with your apology. I just question why it was called for. I can't see where you made an affont to anyone.

Maybe your PM'er was having a bad day and found their panties in a wad.

Here in the US, we have this thing called "Freedom of Speech" regardless of what we see in the news.

Told you it could go political.

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I read and re-read the post and found nothing offensive or childish. This is a board for people who own 30+ year old cars, so it's likely that most if not all of us aren't afraid to get their hands dirty from time to time. Making a simple joke about tire changing abilities should have been safe around here. Now, if you had made it on a Porsche or Mercedes board, it might have been a different story. :tapemouth

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Oh boy, or should I say girl, with Don Imus and the students from Duke in the news this week this forum could go political really quick.

Darn!!! :dead: I come here to get away from the political correctness craziness. This place is for cars and car people. I hope we don't go political..:tapemouth .I want to read about restorations, modifications, trouble shooting and boobs:love: LOL. As for what Geezer may have or may not have meant, I don't see a problem with it, where I am from I would expect that from a "geezer":cheeky: :D. I for one hope we don't end up all censored:tapemouth on here.

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I thought the post was funny, and saw no intentional harm in it. Yeah, you poked fun at women, but then again, the whole world does. We as people label women with the stereotype of not being able to do things a man might typically do: change a tire, work on a Z, etc., but very many women break the mold. If anything, you gave any woman a chance to prove you wrong, and even admitted that many women can do what you said some can't.

I just saw it as a friendly jab towards a typical stereotype, with no harm intended. Your apology was admirable though! :D

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OK, I've read the "thread of origin". I commended Geezer for the apology because it takes a bigger person to do what he did than to complain. I stand by that statement, but now see no reason why an apology was necessary in the first place! There are people offended by nothing, and people offended by everything..... fortunately most of us live somewhere in the middle. We must remember that freedoms also come with responsibilities attached (or should I say "implied"). This situation presents a good example: The freedom of speech (for which we should all be quite thankful) comes with the responsibility to use it properly - it's not what we "can" say.... it's what we "should" say. Yes, it's a free country, and people can say what they wish, but we should think just a touch about what it is that we 'do' say. Geezer, your initial comments IMHO deserved no response or condemnation.... but that's my opinion. What's good about this? Well, we are finding out that the vast majority of this community lives somewhere in between the extremes of "offended by nothing or everything"...... most of us have a good / reasonable sense of humor. Perhaps this will serve as a wake-up call to those at the far extreme end who are looking for things to be offended about. It seems in this community they are not in the majority; that's why I enjoy spending time here. Common sense goes a long way in our relationships with other people. We were not all given an equal amount of that at our creation.... the good thing is that we can develop some common sense on our own if we pay attention to our surroundings, and learn / take the lead from others. As rediculous as this seemed in the beginning, I'm happy to see the response of support for geezer Ron. This exercise has displayed that most of us have a good level of tolerance and common sense. Let's not loose that, for if we do, the next thread to go will be "boobs"..... (and we really don't want that to happen, do we?) Remember, when freedoms are lost or given up, there are far reaching consequences!

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Oh boy, or should I say girl, with Don Imus and the students from Duke in the news this week this forum could go political really quick.

I have to say that I have stopped several times over the years to help a "girl" change a flat tire. I can't remember ever helping a guy.

That 1st sentence in tha last paragraph is what it's all about for me :laugh: !

Being a Brother Man I can honestly tell ya, "Nappy Headed ~Backhoes~" made me Laugh :cheeky: `

And before anyone gets offended thats just good African Comedy, Thats how we talk.

Even if Imus ain't African :finger: it was still FUNNY, FUNNY LIKE MUG ! LOL

~Z~

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Montezuma,

I second that!

Although I am offended by the way your dog was looking at me kinda seductively there...

ROFL ROFL ROFL

~Brian

That is because my daugther was the one who took his pictures so he was behaving which is rare for that pup. He was just flirting his mom.

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...And before anyone gets offended thats just good African Comedy, Thats how we talk......

I think this has gone far enough. There's that 'we' again. I don't talk like that and I've never been to Africa. I'm not offended, just wondering why the comment had to be made.

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