EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE TERMINOLOGY

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ~ Able to bullshit

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ~ Spends lots of time on phone

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ~ Not too bright

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ~ Made no major blunders yet

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY ~ Too ugly to get a date

ACTIVE SOCIALLY ~ Drinks a lot

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ~ Spouse drinks, too

INDEPENDENT WORKER ~ Nbody knows what he/she does

QUICK THINKING ~ Offers plausible excuses

CAREFUL THINKER ~ Won't make a decision

AGGRESSIVE ~ Obnoxious

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ~ Gets someone else to do it

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ~ Speaks English

METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL ~ A nit picker

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES ~ Is tall or has a loud voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ~ Lucky

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR ~ Knows a lot of dirty jokes

CAREER MINDED ~ Back Stabber

LOYAL ~ Can't get a job anywhere else

How true!

:devious: :devious: :devious:

Y'know mates, at least 16 of the 19 definitions perfecly describe the young S.O.B. who played a big part in my decision to retire earlier than planned.

My choices were;

A. Retire,

or,

B. Kill him.

I THINK I made the right choice.

Rick.

haha - I will never be able to write a CV again without giggling...

Im totally printing that for work!