Girls night out

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.

The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door I blew chunks for 10 minutes."

The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"

The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. "When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"

The room was silent for a moment.

Then, the first girl spoke out again "Listen girls, I don't think you understand.......

.......Chunks is my dog."

It was good George just very dirty .

I'll show that to my G/F hehe.

Reminds me about the three ducks who went into the bar on a rainy day.

They sidle up to the bar and the first one asks for a drink. Gets into a bit of a conversation with this talking duck, and asks its name how its days been. It responds "Simon, yeah great, been in and out of puddles all day". So he gives it its drink and moves to the second duck, and gets the response "Names wal, Yeah great, been in and out of puddles all day". He gets to the third duck "My names Puddles, and don't even ask how my F*%king day was"

Three prostitutes walk into a bar.

The first one says to the barman "I've serviced two men tonight and I feel like a bottle of beer".

The second one says "I've serviced ten men tonight and I feel like a bottle of whiskey".

Finally the last prostitute walks up to the barmen and says

"I've serviced twenty five men tonight and I feel like a bottle of clag".