One hundred Cardinals were lined up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven.

"Now, before I let you in", said St. Peter, "tell me how many of you have committed the sins of the flesh ?".

There was silence, and then, one by one, 99 Cardinals raised their hands. Only one didn't.

"Right", said St. Peter, "off to hell the 99 of you. ......And take that deaf bastard with you.

This one's especially for Bill.

Always be frank with your boss.

That way, when you screw up, Frank will get the blame.

After holidays, the first day back at school the children had to report on what they did during their holidays.

"We went to the Blue Mountains to do some bushwalking", said Emily.

"We went camping in Kakadu", said Bobby.

"We had a really great time", said Jason, "we put fire crackers up cane toads arses ........".

Shocked, the teacher said, "Jason!!!!! ... the correct term is rectum".

"That's right miss", said Jason, "wrecked 'em all right, blew their brains out".

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

wrecked 'em? hell it killed 'em

Now i will remember that!