1 Bravo 6

:tapemouth :tapemouth :tapemouth Way back in the dim, dark, distant past of 1980, (before some of you were born), I was driving my 1963 EJ Holden from Rockhampton to Brisbane and drove into a flock of White Cockatoos. Now that made a mess of the windscreen. Didn't break it, just made a mess. A bloody great cloud of white feathers entered the car through the open windows. (No aircon in the old EJ). Now,---you might think that was a bad enough shock but wait---- There's worse to come.:tapemouth Some of those feathers were still attached to two white cockatoos that ALSO entered the car through the open windows and those birds were BLOODY MAD, Screeching and flapping around INSIDE the car. In the few seconds it took me to bring the car to a screeching halt, the bloody things had ripped the top of the rear seat to shreds with their bloody great beaks. Luckily they left me alone. Well, that's my animal story. Rick.

Here in the sunny state of Queensland, it is illegal to talk on a mobile phone whilst driving. Recently a bloke was booked for talking on his mobile while he was riding his push bike. Rick.

Well, gosh, golly, gee. Nice to know I was missed. Datto 240Z, you reckon Albany- ites are---different. Ya ever been to Tassy ???? everyone in the mountains down there has one leg longer than the other. Even the dairy farmers have the floor of the milking stalls built on a fifteen degree angle so the cows can stand up straight to be milked. You know mate, I reckon our septic mates don't realise how BIG Aus is. CRIPES !!! if i'd been walkin' I'd still be southbound headin' for the New South Wales border !!!!!!!. The other Datto, No mate, the Mexicans aren't quick enough to capture this fleet footed fella. The ship landed us at the port of Melbourne at 6:30 on a Sunday morning and I just pointed the car and caravan north and kept going. Carl, as I am an ex infantryman, do you really, REALLY think I'd go WALKabout ???? Not this little black duck mate, I DRIVE. Tanny, I'll admit to liking the 350Z BUT if I had the money to buy one I'd rather spend it on "Precious". Rick.

G'Day there SuDZ, Let's see now, You're visiting; the Uni at Wooloongong, Uluru (us oldies still think of it as Ayer's Rock), Taronga Park Zoo in Sydney, and a few other places. And you've only got two weeks !!!!! You'll be here just long enough to have a sample of what this great country has to offer. After the first week you'll be planning your NEXT visit. Mate, whatever you do, don't drive while you're here. For starters, the driver sits on the right side of the car. (You septics sit on the wrong side). Why do I suggest you don't drive ?????? Because I'll be travelling the New South Wales coast road at that time. If I see a car heading towards me on OUR wrong side of the road I'll know it's you. Don't forget to wave. Go by coach to Wooloongong and enjoy the scenic coastline. Try for a seat on the left side going South, the right heading North. Seriously mate, I hope you enjoy your trip to the Land Down Under. I'm sure you'll want to come back. Rick.

Just checking up on you lot to see what you've been up to. Sending this from my son's place in Brisbane. Next one will come from anywhere between here and Tasmania. Good to see George is back. Rick.

ROFL Gav, Up here in God's country, It's the boys in blue mate. Rick.

:mad: :mad: Tomohawk, My pet hate is the misuse of the word "MYSELF". :devious: :devious: Rick.

Hmmm, I can't help wondering what Carl does in his SPARE time ?????? :devious: :devious: Rick.

ROFL Now, I have no way of verifying this but, it's the sort of thing a real Aussie Larrikin would do. I LOVE IT. GO Aussie!!! Four youths from Canberra,pulled off a trick of breathtaking bravado in order to gain revenge on a mobile speed camera van operating in the area. Three of the group approached the van and distracted the operator's attention by asking a series of questions about how the equipment worked and how many cars the operator could catch in a day. Meanwhile, the fourth musketeer sneaked to the front of the van and unscrewed its numberplate. After bidding the van operator good-bye, the friends returned home, fixed the ! number plate to their car and drove through the camera's radar at high speed - 17 times. As a result, the automated billing system issued 17 speeding tickets to itself. Go Aussies!! Don't ya just LOVE IT ????????? Rick.

Great !!! and I love cats. Problem is, my two Jack Russells DON'T like cats. So, when I "bowled" the first "ball", the sound of the cat set my dogs off barking like mad and it's presently 11 at night. The neighbours WILL be pleased. I'll get "The Boss" to have a go tomorrow night. Rick.

If a fly didn't have wings would it be called a walk ??? Rick.

Hey there Carl, I LOVE cats. With a nice, spicey filling, a strip of bacon on either side, wrapped in buttered foil, covered with hot coals. DELICIOUS . Seriously, "Smokey" looks like she might have more than just a touch of Russian Blue in her. I spent three years in Thredbo, a ski resort in the Snowy Mountains, managing the Army Ski Lodge. At the time, I had a plain old tabby that I named "Tiger" that went half wild when we moved to Thredbo. During summer, the bugger would often call and scratch at the back door until I came to let him in only to find him sitting there with a smug look on his face and his paws holding down a very much alive copperhead snake (bloody poisonous things). He'd HOWL like heck when I slammed the door in his face. I was the only one ALLOWED to pet him. Anyone else who tried did so at their peril. He used to sit on top of the corner post of the front fence waiting for the neighbour's stupid Red Setter to come piddling on the post. Tiger would leap onto the dog's back, bat the stupid animal accross the ears a few times and climb back over the fence. Stupid dog got "HIT" a couple of times a week. At the ripe old age of 15 he was a bit slow crossing the road one night. I cried. Rick.

Thought you blokes might get a giggle or two from these. > A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to > > take off when another man with a Labrador Retriever > > occupies the 2 empty seats beside him. > > > > The Lab is situated in the middle, and the first man > > is looking quizzically at the dog when the second > > man explains that they work for the airline. The > > airline rep said,"Don't mind Sniffer;he is a sniffing > > dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get > > airborne when I put him to work." > > > > The plane takes off and levels out when the handler > > says to the first man,"Watch this." He tells the dog, > > "Sniffer, search." Sniffer jumps down, walks along > > the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. > > It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the > > handler's arm. He says "Good boy." The airline rep > > turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in > > possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this > > and her seat number for the police who will apprehend > > her on arrival." > > > > "Fantastic!" replies the first man. > > > > Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles.The > > Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few > > seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on > > the handlers arm. The airline rep says, "That man is > > carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this > > and the seat number." > > > > I like it!" says the first man. > > > > A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles. > > Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while > > sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back, > > jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the place. > > > > The first man is really grossed out by this behaviour > > from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, > > "What's going on ?" > > > > The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb" > > > > ***************************************************************** > > Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors > and > > lawyers and prospered. Some years later, hey chatted after having dinner > > together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their > > elderly mother who lived far away in another city. > > > > The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." > > > > The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theatre built in the > > house." > > > > The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600." > > > > The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the > Bible > > and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I > > met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire > Bible. > > It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to > contribute > > $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama > > just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." > > > > The other brothers were impressed. > > > > After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. > > > > She wrote: > > > > "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I > have > > to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." > > > > "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries > delivered, > > so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." > > > > "Michael, you give me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound, it could hold > > 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm > nearly > > blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." > > > > "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a > > little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you." Rick.

ROFL VEEEERY CUNNING, James, My guess is that you put off posting your pic for as long as poss. Now that Alfa's FINALLY showed his face to the world, we (temporarily) have no one to pick on and, in order to avoid us picking on you, you posted your pic. If I hadn't started this ball rolling that's exactly what I would have done. CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!! You deserve a :devious: for that. O.K. Carl, who we gonna pick on now ????????? Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious:

Rusty 1, Thank you . Rick.

ROFL Hey, Rusty 1, Do you mean to tell me that there are quite a few tasmanians down there ????????. Don't they all live in Victoria ??????????. I was under the impression that they only lived in Tassy on a roster basis so that there'd be a resident on duty at all times to turn the lights on and off. :stupid: Thanks for all the input fellas. Rick. :devious: :devious:

'BOUT TIME !!!!!! Now, Lachlan old mate, that wasn't very painful was it ???????? LOL Took me awhile to figure out what you held in your fingertips. Mate, up here in the land of milk and honey, we use BAIT bigger than that !!!!!! I didn't think you could get hooks small enough to catch fish that size. Is it of legal size ?.Did it put up much of a fight ?. How long did it take to land it ?. ROFL Seriously, I'm sorry to hear that you had so much trouble with your computer. Oh, yes, one more thing. THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A BLOODY GOOD SPORT. Rick. :devious: :devious:

ROFL HORE OOPS, I mean, HAW, HAW, HAW, 17 CORRECT Guess there's hope for this old fart yet. (If only I could remember what they're for ????). Rick. :devious: :devious:

That is GREAT news Victor, I imagine everyone has had their fingers crossed for you, I know I have. It is a shame though, that your car wasn't spotted by a member and followed to the thief's house cos then you'd know who's arse to kick. Shame about the damage but, it could have been worse. Rick.

G'Day David, Just sent you an email. I haven't heard of anyone who SETTLED for something other than what they really wanted who was truly satisfied and happy with their decision. If you WANT a 2+2, then go ahead and get one BUT, if you would prefer to have a 2 seater, then just hang in there, sooner or later one will turn up. As the old sayings go, PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE-- and, ALL THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT. (Depends on whether or not you believe that crap). Rick. :devious: :devious:

The deaths were tragic. At 56 y.o.a. the Camaro driver should have had more bloody sense. Now, whether he gets a prison sentence or not, he has to live with the knowledge that HE is responsible for the deaths of 3 inocent kids and his wife. Going through life with the knowledge that YOU have KILLED people is a very heavy burden to bear. Rick. :cry:

IT'S PICK ON ALFAPUPPY DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious:

Yair Jeff, Got the PM, thanks mate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Yair, all right, so I only got 5 out of 10. At least I beat Carl. My excuse is that The old memory's starting to fade. I may have gotten half of them wrong but at least I got the other half right. Hey, Carl, doesn't it make you wonder what those high scorers have most on their minds ????? Rick. :devious: :devious: