1 Bravo 6

Ever wonder; Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food? Who tastes dog food when it has a "New and Improved" flavour ? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes ? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ? Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructable black box ? Why sheep don't shrink when it rains ? Why they are called Apartments when they are all stuck together ? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress ? Why they call an airport "The Terminal" if flying is so safe ? Rick.

Have you ever wondered; Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you never see the headline "Psychic wins Lottery"? Why Doctors call what they do "Practice"? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why the man who invests your money is called a "Broker"? More tomorrow. Rick. :devious:

Damned good thing old kats put that second photo up. With the first pic, I couldn't see the red dot even with my extra two eyes on. Rick.

No, Will, Kiwi's are out for me mate. Ya ever see one ???? Little fat, stumpy things with skinny legs. And they can't fly, so why call them birds ???? Might be better to call them walks. Nice try Carl, but you'll have to settle for 2 out of 3 mate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Yair Jason, Then we can all misunderstand YOUR comments. Rick. :devious: :devious:

No Carl, ... you've got it wrong mate. Only the Kiwi's form emotional attachments with their wooly jumpers. We Aussies are straight mate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Hey Will, I was looking for a bite from Carl and caught you instead. Down here FORD stands for; FOUND ON RUBBISH DUMP Your rewording of my quote is o.k. but I still like mine better. Rick. :devious: :devious:

G'Day there Evan, Welcome to the club from the land down under. If you're dead set on getting a Zed, my advice would be to purchase the CD from the club which lists part numbers of 240, 260 and 280 Zeds. You'll find it invaluable. Tell me Evan, as you are another "Young Bloke", do you wear funny hats and have a breats .... er, ... I mean breast fetish ????????? Rick. (The balding , wrinkly, mouldy oldy from Aus). :devious: :devious: :devious:

Good on ya Nate, No telling how many lives have been saved by you and your shipmates. You blokes are tops in my book mate. Rick.

Of course, you blokes are refering to AMERICAN Fords. AUSTRALIAN Fords are far superior. Rick. :devious: :devious:

AAAWWWw, Billy Boy, I was just taking the P....hiss out of ya. Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious:

Here's a couple more "Bad Days". Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughter house in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened and was blown to bits. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Rick.

OOOOoohhhhhhhhhh, Carl, . :devious: of you. Sucked me right in mate. Bloody good one. Here's another "Bad Day" report. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. ------------------------------------------------------- Think the seals had a bad day ???????????? A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy piece of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his walkman. ------------------------------------------------------- Rick. :devious: :devious:

Here's one for the golfers. A foursome is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome are hitting off from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time and when, finally, the last one tees off, she hacks it about ten feet. She then goes over to her ball and hacks it another ten feet. She looks up at the men, who are watching, and says apologetically, "I guess all those f###ing lessons I took this winter didn't help". One of the men immediately replies, "Now, .. there's your problem. You should have taken golf lessons instead. ------------------------------------------------------------- Do you think you've had a bad day ????????? These are supposed to be actual cases. Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. A postmortem revealed that the man died NOT from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how the man, dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers and a face mask ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it, one minute our diver was making like flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. (Can anyone in CA confirm or refute this report ?). Another "BAD DAY" report tomorrow. Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious:

Oh, Carl,Carl,Carl, Does the Pope WHERE funny hats? GOTCHA AGIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious: :devious:

Hey there Billy Boy, Shouldn't you change your name to "billramsey 2005"? You're a little behind the times mate. Or is Little Rock in Redneck country?????????????. :nervous: :nervous: Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious:

The latest issue of Just Cars has a good article on the 350Z. Rick.

O.K, more "Milkman" notes. Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby, and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. *************** My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver, or do I have to shake the bottle. *************** Please send me a form for cheap milk. I have a baby two months old and did notknow about it until a neighbour told me. *************** Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it. *************** Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday. *************** No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice. *************** Rick.

The position a woman sleeps in says a lot about her. If she sleeps on her side, she's .... sensitive. If she sleeps on her stomach, she's ... competent. And if she sleeps on her back with her ankles behind her ears she's POPULAR. ____________________________________________________________ A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase it's sales so the owner put up a sign saying, "FREE SEX WITH FILL UP". Soon a local Redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10 and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The Redneck guessed 8. The owner said, "You were close, the number was 7. Sorry, no free sex this time. A week later, the same Redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill up. Again he asked for his free sex. The owner gave him the same story and asked him to guess the number. The Redneck said 2 this time. Once again, the owner said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time". As they were driving away, the Redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex". Bubba replied, "No 'taint Billy Ray, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week". ------------------------------------------------------------------- Here's my first installment on what are reported to be actual notes left for ----------THE MILKMAN----------- "Dear milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk. Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. ----------------------------- More tomorrow. Rick.

STILLwaiting for an answer to Stacey's question. C'Mon Dave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rick.

Still waiting for an answer to Stacey's question. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Here's a few more for you Dave; Do sharks sleep ?. Rick.

O.K. Carl, Since our knowledgable friend Dave seems to have suffered a blackout due to overtaxing his imagination, I'll answer one of my own questions. (By the way mate, you were correct in all three answers). My question, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg" ? Answer, = Neither. The Rooster did. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Here ya go Dave, What came first, the chicken or the egg ? Were dinosaurs hunted to extinction by intergalactic big game hunters ? If so, did they pay for the trip using American Express ? Are all the blonde jokes true or false ? When a resident of North America visits the southern states of Australia, why doesn't the blood rush to his head ? Looking at the Earth from space, directly above the true North Pole, does the Earth spin Clockwise or Anticlockwise ? And; Looking at the Earth from space, directly above the true South Pole, does the Earth appear to spin in the same direction as that seen from the true North Pole ? Last but by no means least, why do I use the smilie :devious: Rick. :devious: :devious: :devious: :devious:

Yair mate, What Mike said. Anyway, ...... sounds like you came out on top. Dogs respond in kind to TLC, they're faithful to their dying day and never let you down. Life goes on !!!! Rick.