1 Bravo 6

Bill and his missus were invited to a swanky Halloween party by a family friend, in which all attendees were required to wear a mask. Bill's wife got a terrible headache and told him to go to the party alone, and to make sure to say hello to her family. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As Bill didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon spotted Bill in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, Bill left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After a few more drinks Bill finally whispered a proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what explaination he would make up for his outrageous behaviour. She was sitting up reading when Bill came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, ... the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there", Bill said. Then she asked, "Did you dance much ?". Bill replied, "I'll tell you, ... I never even had one dance. When I got there, I met Enrique, Will, Rick and Lachlan, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening". "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night !",She said with unashamed sarcasm. Bill replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to my brother, apparently he had the time of his life". Rick. :devious: :devious:

ROFL HaHaHa. Good one mate. Lachlan, I now fear for your well being my friend. Enrique is BOUND to retaliate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Enrique, I think I might pass on this one and wait to see what the Alfapup has to say. Rick. :devious: :devious:

A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the back seat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks, "What's going on here?". Jason answers, "Oh, just listening to music sir". Pointing to the young lady in the back seat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?". "Reading a magazine, of course", says Jason. "How old are you", asks the officer. "I'm 28", Jason replies. "And how old is she ?". Jason looks at his watch and says, "Well, ... in 11 minutes she'll be 18". Rick. :devious: :devious:

Yair, good one Halzy. But, to tell the truth, ... the school I went to, the teachers wern't GAME to tell us we were wrong. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Hey Lachlan, I'll have to ensure that you never meet my wife Barb, in case you let slip about Ruby. Rick. :devious: :devious:

No Will, Not since I stopped associating with Al K. Hol mate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Ohh, Enrique, Surely you're not suggesting that our friend Alfalfadog is, ... er, ....well, ... you know, ..... likely to , ... um, cross dress are you ????????? I always thought he was straight as a die. Could I be wrong ?????????? Rick. :devious: :devious:

Hmmmm, Yeees, .... verrry innnnteresting Tom. All the macho "I'm a MAN and they're only WOMEN" comments followed by a down on the knees apology to Vicky gives me the impression that you're a young bloke with a lot to learn about life mate. LOL Sounds to me like you're looking for a "Yes dear, no dear" little mouse instead of a WOMAN. Arne's main story was his parts pickup. The bit about his cheese and kisses was meant to be light and humerous, as was my yarn intended to be. There is far too much "I", "ME" in marriage today, one reason for so many divorces. Those of us who have survived the years, thereby giving security and harmony to the lives of our kids haven't done it from blind luck. We treat marriage as a PARTNERSHIP ... give and take on an equal basis. It's the only way mate. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Oh, Lachlan, GOOD ONE MATE !!!!!!!!!!!! I was laughing so loud that Barb had to come in to help me up off the floor. I wouldn't mind betting that you've been saving that one up as your counter attack should I send one your way. That being the case, you have earned a :devious: for it. Rick. :devious: :devious:

He, He, He, Didn't want you to feel left out Lachlan. I'll have to pick on Bill again, or he's likely to feel neglected. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Lachlan is walking along the beach in France, wearing his knee length board shorts. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really want's to meet one. But, try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a french bloke lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women. "G'day mate, I'm from Australia, ... the name's Lachlan, and I've been trying to meet one of these gorgeous women but I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French, ... you know these women, ... what can I do ?". "Maybe I can help a leetle beet", says the Frenchman,. "What you do ees you go to ze store. You buy a leetle bikini swimsuit. You walk up and down ze beach. You meet girl very qweekly zis way". "WOW ! THANKS !" says Lachlan, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bikini, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So, he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again mate", he says, "but I went to the store, I bought a bikini, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl". "Okay", says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. Zis works for me. You go to ze store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down ze beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zis way". "You beaut, thanks mate", says Lachlan, and runs off to the store. He buys a potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down, he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him. After nearly an hour he can't take it any more and goes back to the Frenchman. "Mate, .... back home in Surfer's Paradise, I walk along the beach and I'm SURROUNDED by women. I walk on the beach here in France and ......... NOTHING !!!. Look, ... I bought the bikini, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, .... and still nothing. What more can I do ?". "Well", says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle bit. Why don't you try moving Ze potato to ze FRONT of ze sweeming suit ?". Rick. :devious: :devious:

Young Jared applied for an engineering job way up north. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager called Jared into his office and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the local man the job". Jared said, "Why's that, we both got 9 questions right". The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed". Jared asked, "And just jow the heck would one incorrect answer be better than the other?". The Manager replied, "Simple, ... the local man's answer for question # 5 was, 'I don't know', your answer was, 'neither do I" Rick. :devious: :devious:

Things are getting better all the time. :devious: :devious:

I love it. Nearly fell off the damn chair . :devious: :devious:

Well now Will, To tell the truth, the oportunity did raise it's ugly head once or twice but I always vowed never to cuckold a mate. More than once !!. :devious: :devious:

Yair Arne, I know exactly what you're saying. A couple of days ago I told my "She Who Must Be Obeyed 'Cause She's Always Right" that I was going to take "Precious" for a run as I haven't been able to even get behind the wheel for a couple of weeks after tearing the ligaments in my right knee. Her comment of; "Well, ... if you HAVE to", started the warning bells ringing, so that night, I cooked dinner AND cleaned up the mess I'd made. (Bloody crawler aren't I?). The god of chance must have taken pity on me as the very next day, Barb found out about a handicraft week being held down in New South Wales at a town called Wagga Wagga. (That's truly it's name. Remember, we Aussies are a funny lot). Now, it's ONLY about 1500 kms from here in Central Queensland so, since I would like to be able to look forward to our 39th anniversary I said, "How about we hitch up the caravan and make a holiday out of it?". Needless to say, I'm back in the good books again. (I said I was a bloody crawler). There is one thing I have yet to bring to her notice. The craft weekend is in the middle of July. Now, I did my Army basic training, (boot camp to you lot), at the Kapooka Army Barracks which is just outside Wagga Wagga in the month of August and nearly suffered the same fate as a brass monkey. Do you think I should tell her now or just before we leave so she can pack her thermal underwear?? Rick. :devious: :devious: Oh, yair, Congratulations on aquiring all those parts and bits and pieces.

Just didn't want you to feel neglected Bill. :devious: :devious:

Sorry Bill, but this one was OBVIOUSLY written for you mate. Hope you have a gay old time while enjoying this one. "How was your first day in third grade, Bill", asked his father. "Good" said Bill, "The teacher asked each of us to count to 100. Some kids couldn't get past 30, but I made it all the way to 100 without a single mistake". "That's good son. That's because you're from Arkansas." After the next day of school, Bill's father asked again. "I did good today too, Dad. In language class, we had to say the alphabet. Some kids couldn't get past P, but I made it all the way to Z without a single mistake.!". "I'm proud of you Bill. That's because you're from Arkansas". After the third day of school, Bill came home looking troubled. "What's the matter son ?", asked Dad. "Oh, ... I dunno. Today we had physical education, and afterwards, in the shower, I noticed that, ... well, .... the other boys in my class, ... uh, ... well Dad, .... they all have little tiny ones. Mine must be ten times bigger than theirs!. Is that because I'm from Arkansas ??". "No son", explained Dad, "That's because you're 18". :devious: :devious:

OOOhhh, ... Mate, I Love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bet My mate Bill will enjoy that one !!!.:classic: :classic: Rick. :devious: :devious:

Vacation advice. Chris said to his mate, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where I should go. Two years ago you said I should go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and the missus got pregnant. Then, last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas. I went to the Bahamas and the missus got pregnant again". Chris's mate says, "So, what are you gonna do this year that's different?". Chris answered, "This year, I'm takin' her with me". Rick. :devious: :devious:

Haw, Haw, Chris, I've already got one tagged with your name on it MATE. Rick. :devious: :devious:

Shame be upon you Victor!!!!!!!! Unless I'm mistaken, that's an MGB she's obviously enjoying herself in. Rick. :devious: :devious:

G'Day Tom, Congratulations on achieving a TEE of 98. As far as I'm concerned, it's far more important than what you're doing with the Zed. To me, Education is the most important thing in a young man's life. So, once again, congratulations. It wouldn't have been easy. I should imagine there was a lot of burning of the midnight oil to score a 98. Rick. :devious: :devious: P.S. My son has recently been accepted to do his PHD, actually skipping the Masters, so I have a fair idea of the work you have put in.

He, He, He, Actually Enrique, your joke reminded me of the two occasions that I DID get chucked out of a bar. Of course, ... that was a long time ago before I gave up the grog.:classic: :classic: Rick. :devious: :devious: