Old lady funnies

Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude, and Tillie were sitting on a

park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher

approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies,

stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude also had a stroke.

But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol car one night. He's on the lookout for trouble. He sees two little old ladies in the front seat of a Chevrolet convertible, parked in a used car lot.

The car lot is closed so O'Leary drives up alongside the Chevy and asks, "Are you two ladies trying to

steal this car?"

"Certainly not," says one of the ladies, "we purchased the car this afternoon."

"Well," says the cop, "why don't you start it up and drive out of here?"

"Oh, we don't drive," replies the other little old lady. "And besides we are waiting."

"What on Earth are you waiting for?" asked the cop.

The old lady sitting in the drivers seat replies," We were told that if we ever bought a car from here we would get screwed."