Preacher retention 101

How to keep a Preacher 101

There is a story about a popular young Baptist preacher, who on Sunday morning announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract, and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.

Brother William (Bubba) Scoles, who owns several car dealer- ships, stands up and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!"

The congregation amens, and applauds.

Brother Billy Bob Tindall, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the preacher stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!"

More amens and applause.

Sister Ella May Rouse, aged 70, stands and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll give him sex!"

There is a hush.

The preacher, blushing, asks, "Sister Ella May, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sister Ella May answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Screw the preacher.'