Fun_in_my_z

Who said anything about chicken? Ya see in hollywood the saying is : no business like show business. But in my hood, it's no business like Ho business :devious:

Oh Rick my boy. You finally got whats coming to you! Good work lachlan

Valentines day is the worst time of year. All its for is making hall mark and harshies rich, making old peaple horny and single peaple depressed. But on the other hand my nightly sales are pretty high then to....

Totally getting emailed to everyone!

Rick goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands Rick a bottle of beer. He drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks at him oddly but hands another beer to Rick. He again drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, Rick drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?" "I haven't got any money!"

Ha Ha Ha. My naighbor graduated and cant read

Horses arse.... You want to know the funny part about this joke? Im actually going to a police acadamy next fall..

Umm becouse they won?

Geee what a pal...

Rick bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." Rick thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Its on like donkey cong beatch!

Hey atleast i got mentioned....

Oh brother i hope you Got your Ran coat on Victor

What Rick? Im not mentioned in their? Shoot and i was starting to think you had a thing for me lmao

One and the same But i think he moved to or from chrysler before or after ford. Driver returns on foot. ,<i love that one

BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CADILLAC Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions CAMARO Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time CHEVY Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean? Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet CHRYSLER Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for: I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg) Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name) PT Boozer DODGE Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater Design Of Diabolical German Engineer Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) FERRARI Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively FIAT Found In A Trashcan (Sent in by a visitor) Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation (Sent in by a visitor) Failure In Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix it again, Tony! Fix It Another Time FIRESTONE Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! - Jeff) Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I've come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff) FORD THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger_Markowitz) MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes Ford Owners Recommend Dodge Full Of Rust Deposits Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER Ford Focus....Ford F**ck Us F**ker Only Rolls Downhill Fancy Oil Recycling Device Found On Rubbish Dump F***ed Over Road Disaster! F***ing Oakey's Really Dig'em F**king Old Retarded Dudes Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation (Sent in by a visitor) F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge (Sent in by a visitor) Found On Rubbish Dump (Sent in by a visitor) For Old Retired Drunks (Sent in by a visitor) Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family Firestone Overstates Reliability Data First On Recall Day Fast On Race Day For Off Road Driving Fireball On Rear Damage (Sent in by a visitor) First On Race Day (Sent in by a visitor) First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven (Sent in by a visitor) Fault Of R&D MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage F***ed On Raw Deal Fast Only Rolling Downhill Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron`s DNA Flip Over, Read Directions Fork Over Remaining Dough F**king Owners Really Dumb F***ed On Race Day (F)illped (O)ver ®esevation (D)ecoration (F)**ked (O)ver ®ebuilt (D)iahatsu For Old Retired Dutchmen GEO Get Everything Overpriced Got Everything Overhauled GM General Maintenance Genital Motors Give More GiMme Getting Malignant Got Me Grab Me GMC God's Mechanical Curse Garage Man's Companion Generic Motors Corporation Got A Mechanic Coming? Greatest Mistake Created Great Mountain of Crap Greasy Messy Contraption Gay Man's Chevy Gimme My Checkbook! Get More Cash! HONDA Had One, Never Did Again Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance Hang On, Not Done Accelerating Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (FromJames Bragg) Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else Honda Options: No Deal Available! Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons! Honda Options Never Deal Affordably Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions! HUMMER Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources HYUNDAI Here's Y U Never Drive An Import Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside Jeep Just Empty Every Pocket (Sent in by a visitor) Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor) Just Eats Every Penny Just Everybody Else's Parts Junk Everyone Eventually Piles Just Expect Extra Payments Jaguar Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) Kia Keep It Away! Kick It's arse Korean Imitation Accord Korea's Imported Accident Killer's Imported Asset Kiss It Away Killed In Action Keep Inside Asia Korea Invades America KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT Killer Implosion Awaits Killed In Accident LAMBORGHINI Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image LOTUS Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious Maserati Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt Most Are Zealously Duped Always MERCEDES My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon MITSUBISHI Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents (Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com) May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor) Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation (Sent in by a visitor) MOPAR Match Old Parts As Required Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly My Old Pig Ain't Runnin' Move Over People Are Racing Mostly Old Parts And Rust Motor On Pavement After Race Moments Of Power Are Rare NISSAN Need I Say Something About Nothing Never In Season Simply A No-show OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment PONTIAC Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky arse Crap Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned PORSCHE PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN'T HELP EVERYTHING Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything SAAB Some arse Actually Boughtit! Styling Absent After Buyout Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards (Sent in by one of our visitors) Sad Attempt At Beauty Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown Sorry Assed American Buyers Start Adding Additional Brake fluid Stop Asking About Brakes! Sorry As A Bum SALEEN Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty SATURN Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Same American Trash Under Revised Name SUBARU Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus) TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto This One You Oughta Tow Away To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away (Sent in by one of our visitors) Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options VW Virtually Worthless Very Wonderful Very Weird Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise Volks Who?

The Stealers would have won anyway without that one touchdown Wtg Pitsburg. You want to know something funny? Last night at work this kid bets me 5 bucks the sea hawks would win. Im not really a football fan i didnt evan know who was playing. And i won the bet! wahoo!

Increasing speed! "bumps into said arse."

thread to be deleted in 3...2...1...

Did the move this thread? Nope still in the funny bone.

Im right behind you!

I cant get that to work now...Arggg!

sure I will add it

You should be flushed! ROFL